What's it Feel Like to Lose a Friend?

Death. They say it's a natural part of life; the last part of life that we all face once in a while. What if we've never had anyone close die, such as a good friend of yours or a family member? I, myself, have never lost anyone and don't know how it feels or how it affects your life.

I fear I may finally experience the passing of a close friend, a girl whom I will call "Angel" because that's what I think of her as. That, and I want to protect her identity. Angel, a girl whom I've known for around two or three years now, is close to death from a common cause of cancer: lung cancer. According to what she told me over MSN, she has been diagnosed with small-cell lung carcinoma (SCLC) and has been chemotherapy treatments for as much as two months now. She is at Stage II Extensive SCLC and I fear the chemo is doing her no justice because, according to her, the doctors keep finding more tumors on her body. Metastasis is a huge bitch.

If I lose her, I don't know what I'd do. She is like a little sister to me and it'd be like both losing a sister and a best friend. It'll be hard on me to know that she's gone. She's had a really hard life and is looking for a way out. I want her pain to stop and reach everlasting bliss, and if that means her life has to end, then I guess no one can do anything about it.

I apologize if this either sounds kinda emo-ish or ill-written. It's just how I feel. And my writing skills are craptastic. Geek, out!

Grinding an Aspie's Gears

You've all seen this on Family Guy in the episode "Stewie B. Goode" of how Peter got his own mini-show on the Channel 5 news. Well, this post is my own version of that. This is "Grinding an Aspie's Gears."

To start this off, these are my annoyances and bothersome events that people have done or things that happen; these are my pet peeves and mean no offense to the things listed. Thanks.

You know what grinds my gears? People who are too lazy to spell out words and use shorthand for everything they have to type. For example, in some chatrooms. The 'noobs' (ignorant people) who use the shortest form of certain words, sometimes even just one letter. This is close to my other post, "The Letter 'K'" which I will put up the link once I find it. They never use capitalization or any punctuation at all, possibly because they think it's cool.

Another thing that grinds my gears is the overexposure of something so insignificant. Take for instance, Michael Jackson who died June 25, 2009, one week before my 19th birthday. That coverage of his death never seemed to stop. Yes, he died and it's sad, but just give it a damn break! And now this recent earthquake in Haiti. Got people texting $10 for the fund; people are dumb sometimes, I swear! It's not like this affects anyone personally.

Didn't really expect to give two helpings of peeves but I had to get those thoughts out. Come back perodically for new gear-grinding posts from your local Aspie geek. AG out!

Latest News from the Geek

Seeing how it's 2010 now, I thought I'd let you all know what's going in with me lately. For one, my laptop has been out of order for a while now because the cord decided to die on me and have to get a new one; luckily, HP is kind enough to send one to me for free because I'm under warranty and will soon have it back in my possession better than ever.

Another piece of info, I might not have any cable here soon due to the fact that we might not be able to afford it - we being my mom and I - and possibly no Internet for however long it'll take to get it back. As of right now, I'm posting this on my iPod touch as the bottom "signature" suggests with an app called BlogPress that was, like, $1.99 in the app store.

One last note, it's frigging cold here and I really hate it. I have to go in my cold basement to use a computer because that's where the desktop is. I just want this winter to just stop and just WARM UP!

As I wrap this up, I realize that there's not a lot of new things so far. I guess as the year progresses, I'll have new things popping up and will include in new posts. Lastly, I'd like to wish you all a happy new year and decade. Bai for now!

Any Girls/Guys Wanna Chat, PM.

Yes, I am late on posting this, who cares?

So as I'm idling on this DigiChat site called ChitChatting that's just like any other chat - users who use it as a hub for hunting down members of the opposite sex. Are these people that desperate that they come onto a chatroom just to look for a piece of tail? Man, and here I thought it couldn't get any more pathetic.

This seems to go on across many self-powered chatrooms running such software and no one's doing anything about it. Why don't the mods of these chatrooms enforce a rule of actually talking to the people in public before asking for opposite-sex messaging? I sure would if I owned one of these (which seems highly unlikely.)

Seriously, you ever thought about oh, I don't know... going outside to meet someone instead of sitting at your computer picking up on what sometimes is a 40-year old man posing as a 16-year old girl? Yes, this is probably the oldest joke in the book but it's true. Get a life before picking up. Jeez!

Sorry about the length of this post; it's kind of a get-it-all-out sorta thing and that's all I really have to say on the matter. See ya next time!

Decisions, Decisions, Decisions: My Current Love Life

Okay, sorry for not updating this in so long; I have been a bit distracted with stuff such as Thanksgiving and stuff. Here we go!

So lately, I've been overwhelmed by girls liking me in the "more than a friend" way. I'm starting to feel I may be too nice and getting myself into something I don't think I can get out of. To be honest, I don't see why anyone would either have a crush on me or even fall in love with me. I have many, many flaws that honestly make me think I'm undeserving of a female's affection. Yeah, I sound like a pessimist and, to some, a bit "emo(tional)" but this is my thought process.

To be honest, I've never actually been in a real-life relationship and therefore have 0 experience with a girl. That and I'm incredibly timid when talking to a girl (physically) and have a large case of social anxiety. I can't help it, it sucks. I mean, others have attempted to break me out of my "shell" - AKA get me out of my timidity - but I feel that that kind of thing won't help me. In my mind, I am doomed to a forever lonely life while others deny it.

They say I'm a nice guy; this is true. But I'm starting to think I may be a bit too nice for my own good. I mean, I'm glad I'm nice because then I make friends easier and faster though I don't want to ruin anything with anyone by being stupid and stuff. I wish I had an easier time with this where I don't have to worry about making someone sad and/or mad because of my decision.

Okay, I'm having enough trouble as it is to explain what I'm trying to say in a writer's sort of way. I guess I'll just end this right here. For those who are reading this and are in the same boat and/or are one of the many who have taken quite the liking to me, please don't take this post the wrong way. I just wanted to get all of this off my chest and sorta let you know of my situation. Thanks!

New iPod Touch

Sorry for the delay in postings; I haven't had much desire to update this blog for some odd reason but this is a special post related to the newest event that's happened. I finally got an iPod Touch! In fact, I'm actually posting this right from it at the moment.

Despite it costing me $300 for the 32GB model, it was definitely worth getting. This is my very first iPod ever if you can believe that and since this is my first, why not go big? I could have gotten the 64 gig one, but I dun think I'd need that much.

Now, what's cool about the Touch, it's more than an iPod; it's a mini computer, too, with all the apps iPhone provides. Sadly, it usually says it's an iPhone because it uses the iPhone OS for the apps and can't differentiate which model it is.

Mmmkay, this will wrap this up. Kind of a bad post but that's all I can really all I can come up with. Bye!

Costochondritis: It Sucks... Badly

Yeah, big word, huh? Well, it means that the junction between your rib and sternum--that's your breastbone--becomes inflamed and starts to hurt... badly. Luckily, it's totally treatable and will completely go away within 6 months. Oh boy.

How it started. It was just a normal morning with me waking up as usual. I notice I've been having this strange pain in my chest worrying it might be heart-related. So I panicked. I panicked so much that I actually started crying because I was so afraid of what it was. Don't make fun of me. :/

It started I believe late Wednesday/early Thursday... or maybe mid Thursday, seeing how I don't sleep at normal hours. It took me till yesterday to go to the doctor and see what it is. So I go to this urgent care center close by and get seen by one of their doctors. He was pretty funny, too, kind of sarcastic. I told him it hurts "right here" (I was pressing on where it hurt which only made it hurt more) and he replied "Then don't do that! It's like 'Doc, it hurts when I do this.'" while raising his arm in a joking manner. Then I tried my best to explain the pain I'm feeling and then he tells me to lay down on the bed so he can examine it. He presses around the tender area asking me if it hurt there. I tell him it only hurt right in that area and instantly gives his diagnosis - costochondritis. I was both worried and relieved that I had an answer.

Turns out costochondritis goes away on its own and all I have to really do is control the pain through rest, ice pack/heat pad, and ibuprofen. Honestly, the ice pack really killed the pain - and fast. Though, I've been having quick, sharp pains in other areas that seem to die off just as quickly as they came. It's weird and it sucks.

So, that was my week. And wow, this post is long! Sleep deprivation is something, isn't it?